First, start with a nicely-fitting classic assembly of jacket, tie, pocket square, socks, etc.
Follow these next steps exactly:
1. Hem your pants way too short and have the legs taken in.
2. Hem your jacket sleeves as well. Why should the pants get all the fun of fitting poorly?
3. If you wear nice dress shoes that lace up, take off your socks. Yes, it will feel nasty, but NO SOCKS!
4. Re-tie your knot into a large and loose wad and make your pocket square as offensive as possible (extra points for a small bow tie!)
5. Stand in an awkward position that looks horribly unnatural. Pretend the camera "caught you off-guard".
Now you're ready to:
Blog, attend museum openings, infiltrate grad-school parties, bicker over a restaurant check with your friends and then leave a crappy tip. Be sure to look preposterously out of place wherever you go.
This looks cool, right?
To think... I had been doing it totally wrong all these years!
*NOTE: If you don't want to hem your wool pants, you can substitute in a pair of dark jeans, but remember to peg the cuffs and roll them tightly above the ankle. Ignore the stares of contempt, because you will be a goofy loser awesome.
Fantastic! Should be required reading for a certain "unabashed" style blogger...
ReplyDeleteBonus pro-tip: Unbutton your top button and slack your tie with a bit of the sprezz.
ReplyDeleteAlso: Double-monks.
I anxiously await the launch of What Is Yankee-Whisky-Papa Wearing Today?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant!
ReplyDeleteClearly, you are now ready for the pages of J.Crew. Thanks for the laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteWell done. Those photographs are almost painful in their awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteNote: I noticed the weave of the jacket fabric is pointing in a slight northerly direction. You might want to consult your tailor for repairs.
Come on, YWP! You forgot the unbuckled double monks! Bonus points for dripping paint on your pants and shoes and calling them "authentic." Double bonus points for turning around and selling those items to a Rugby loving hipster for $500 a piece. Triple bonus points if you convince that pretentious hack, Castleberry, to purchase them.
ReplyDeleteI had better go home and change...
ReplyDeleteI had better go home and change...
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, this is funny!
ReplyDeleteIs that an ITT Tech school tie? You BETTER have gone there, mister!
ReplyDeleteYou should add: get a tattoo of Che gueverra on left buttock...to really complete the dressed up hipster putz look...oh..and a Ubangi ear disc as well.
ReplyDeleteAnd one of those mustache tattoos on the side of the finger.
DeleteYou left off number 6, which is to blog a paean to each and every detail of your outfit, explaining how and why each is so very "preppy," "authentic," and/or "classic" (making sure to link only to current patrons).
ReplyDeleteOh f-%k that's brilliant. I've gotta start reading blogs again.
ReplyDeleteAlright, this is one of the best posts EVER. I mean it. HI-larious, right on point, and the best that bloggin' allows. You get ten stars, and then another handful thrown in. Ta-da!
ReplyDeleteThis post is excellent. That pose is the icing on the cake!
ReplyDeleteThis post is excellent. That pose is the icing on the cake!
ReplyDeleteThe pose makes it -- would almost do the trick alone.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. Thank you for this post. So freakin' spot on! I love it. With humor and sarcasm, you absolutely SHRED the rediculous looks/styles that are being passed off as "cool" these days. Well done sir, well done.
ReplyDeleteYou have perfectly captured the essence of the modern day "douche men's fashion blogger" circle Jerk*ng the day away with their mindless group think. The internets have certainly democratized opinion, but it doesn't mean that most have anything worthwhile to say, present company excluded.
ReplyDeletethis is hilarious-
ReplyDeletePerfection. And unabashedly hilarious.
ReplyDeleteToo funny.. made my day. At least here Mr. Unabashed cannot delete any post that second-guesses his pretention.
ReplyDeleteHear, hear! As if any intelligent reader couldn't already parse his motivations as a social climber and call him out for being the complete and utter poseur that he is. Notice that he never answers the question where he went to prep school. Hmm...one guess.
Deleteawesome! my new favorite blog!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteTo the last commenter. I debated posting the comment (it was very good) because I too use a nom-de-blog...believe it or not, my parents didnt name me Yankee-Whisky-Papa. I almost never withold publishing comments, but I was torn on this one... still am. I want to publish it to be fair to you, but I also fear being hypocritical. If the information you supplied is public record, or disclosed otherwise, I'll change my tune. I carry the burden of knowing dozens of identities from these blogs (many of whom don't know I know who they are). PLEASE email me with more information about your knowledge of this, and we can figure out a way to publish your comment. I never want to edit or withold comments, and I certainly don't want to discourage comments (the way my comments are often removed or unpublished on a regular basis from many mens style blogs). Please keep commenting, and let's discuss this specific dilema.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Post!!!! Lots of laughs!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm really sure that the "cool" guy who runs "The Sartorialist" blog will hate you now!!!
LOL! While I do enjoy some of the style musings of the aforementioned blogger from time to time, I think your post illustrates in a broader sense, what I have felt for a while: some prep/ivy/classic enthusiasts can really miss the forest for the trees in terms of embracing the driving values that inform us--the relaxed/natural combination of formal with practical or irreverent (knowing all the rules so that you can gently break them), the genuine love of the outdoors, quality education,hand-me-downs, etc. (A good example of really "getting it" might be Muffy Aldrich's blog). Hmmm...You've inspired me to write a post on the subject on my own newish blog.
ReplyDelete(somewhat random aside: while I believe he genuinely meant well, there was an historical point on one of his posts with which I took issue. I deal with it here: http://tattersallandtonic.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/the-color-of-prep-ivy-league-african-americans-est-1828/)