Scraps and Oakum VII

Comment Unnecessary

Model Ship 

 Colonial Taste

 Actual Wasps

 

Raising Sissies

 Nice Barometer

 Perverse Maneuver

 Different Brooks

Bonham's Auction...

 San Francisco...

 December 2012

Lot 5003

Brook's Brooky

Want to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr?  Of course you don't. I don't use either one.

Coming Attractions for 2013!

As readers may know, I enjoy providing the blogosphere with invaluable and cutting-edge information that is relevant to every single second of your lives.  In the spirit of holiday giving, I am providing a preview to what many of the blogs will be doing in 2013.  In my sleuthing, I have procured many articles, drafts of posts, ideas and outlines that many of my favorite blogs are planning to release.  Though I won't scoop the entirety of each post, here are some unauthorized previews of what you can expect from each blog.

--- Blog Preview for 2013---

The Trad - Tintin will begrudgingly attend a fashion after-party in Brooklyn where he will finally violently pummel an entire group of post-hipster 20 and 30-somethings.  Afterwards, he will apologize to them and take close-up photos of the tags in their shirts and remark that "the wine wasn't bad".  The young beautiful-but-vapid model he will chat with says that her father was in the Army (but in Canada).  Tintin's ensuing sarcasm will get him slapped, but he will post pictures of his reddened cheek.

The Daily Prep - Muffy Aldrich will ask readers to weigh in on which brand of garage door grease is the most preppy and why.  High-resolution photos of the garage door will be included.  In the comments section, a reader will ask Muffy which brand of dental floss she finds to be the preppiest.

Maxminimus - The doting father with a vast shoe collection will post about the pair of shoes that got away on a missed opportunity in 1986 and he'll somehow have photos of them.  In the post, he'll use "patina" and "wallup" in a single sentence and will combine "ain't no telling" into "aintnotellin'".  In the background of a photo for another post, readers will be able to clearly see a notebook page on which ADG has repeatedly doodled "Mrs. A.D.Flusser" in pink and purple ink.

The Mainline Sportsman - In early 2013, the Sportsman will bring us photos and descriptions from his hunting trip to a lettuce farm where he will bag seven or eight heads of Bibb with a .30-06.  He will also reveal that Christmas was "an odd experience for the family this year", and will without explanation post a recipe (with photos) of very fresh reindeer steaks.

To The Manner Born - Toad will attempt a home-improvement project which he will be unable to complete himself.  He will still claim to be a stodgy, technologically challenged Luddite, though he has kept a vibrant blog and internet presence since at least 2008.

Mr. Midwester - Through a legal loop-hole in the fine print of his popular Style Share series, a reader will lay claim to the actual house pictured in the photo's backdrop meant to show only the silk tie in the foreground.  The claim will be enforced in a Midwestern court.

Reggie Darling - Saucers.  Lots of saucers.  Tons and tons of f#@%*ing saucers.

The Easy and Elegant Life - The Elegantologist's first post of 2013 will include a synopsis of his legal battle to acquire the exhumed DNA of Cary Grant.  He will be arrested a week later when police catch him emptying a vial of replicated DNA into the local water supply while whispering "C'mon, damnit... WORK! It has to work!"

An Affordable Wardrobe - It will be revealed in his final post as he signs off forever, that for all these years, Giuseppe actually went out and purchased everything new and at full retail prices.  He will half-heartedly ask for our understanding, but will conclude the post with "You all forced me into this".

The Cable Knit Charlestonian - Mr. Alexander will be mixing patterns with reckless abandon, and will begin to show not only his eBay purchases, but will expand into photos of grocery shopping, drug store purchases, close-ups of things that he finds in his pockets, and whatever sticks to the bottom of his shoes.

Brohammas - Through his career in visiting academic institutions of scientific innovation, Mr. M will slip into one of the college laboratories and accidentally be cloned, producing ten exact copies of himself.  All ten copies will then form a private club and hold regular meetings.  Despite all of this, when he is invited to attend, Mr. M will report that he "felt like an outsider who didn't really belong there".

Boxing The Compass - The usual crap, only somehow worse.






***Full Disclosure - Prior to writing this post, I contacted each blog listed here.  I only wrote about those who offered their blessing, and you'll be happy to know that each blogger did.  Lady Aldrich astutely titled it "A Christmas Roast".  I thank them and sincerely appreciate their friendship, and in many cases, their generous hospitality.

Network

Sitting on the train this morning en route to a meeting, I saw this article.  Have we really devolved this much?  Are we so absorbed in alternate cyber-existence that this is earnestly offered advice?  Well, a "dating coach" using the nom de pole Amber Madison is suggesting that meeting people and talking to them is a great way to meet people and talk to them.

Don't worry, I've extracted the gems for your reading displeasure and assembled them below.

The sage speaks:

We've truly become fully detached from reality.  

Excellent research, Amber... but where do babies come from?

I recall a (legitimate) journalist friend of mine lamenting a conversation he had with a mutual friend.  The friend was unable to join us out for the evening because he would be too busy with online social networking.

Some college kids near me recently performed a "zombie stroll" where they dressed up like zombies and staggered around the sidewalks for some stupid reason.  Zombie fantasies may not be that unrealistic.  If you want to see brainless half-dead rotting bodies staggering around and ranting incoherently, I suggest going to any shopping center during the next few weeks. 

Wait... why am I sitting here typing this instead of going to a cafe with friends or having lunch with my wife?  I should just stop typing and

Work Clothes Fortune

A client and I were enjoying sushi together the other day when this arrived at the meal's conclusion.  Said client pointed out that he himself is a business opportunity, and that he was in fact, in work clothes (a smart navy-blue suit).  

"That makes me a problem, I guess" was his logical conclusion.

"Better have another drink" I said.

"Here's to alcohol dealing with your problems" he said as he raised his glass.  Helluva guy.

Three To Get Ready

I sat and stewed about whether or not to write anything about Dave Brubeck for a day or two, and then decided to give it a try.  I'll keep it short.

My father introduced me to Dave Brubeck when I was a child (not a personal introduction, but an introduction to his music).  He'd play the albums for me and taught me to count out the odd time signatures.  I would try to follow and understand Joe Morello's rythyms, both the elegantly simple (Unsquare Dance) and the subtly complex oscillations of time (Three To Get Ready).  Although Take Five has long occupied the space somewhere between staple and cliche, I still love it.  Father had (still has) all of Brubeck's albums on vinyl, and I played them in succession, learning his style along the way.  His West Coast musical style was warm, clean, optimistic, academic, approachable, and free of the depression and drugs of the East Coast sound.  I loved it.

In highschool, my parents bought me the cassette of Quiet As The Moon, and I instantly recognized Joe Morello's distinct drum style, until I read the insert and realized that the drums were played by Brubeck's son, in a style that was part imitation, part inspiration, and part tribute.  We learn the things we do from our fathers, and our fathers' friends.

Elementals was the first good honest attempt at blending classical and jazz. Today, it hardly sounds cutting edge, but it was when it came out.  It's even more James Bond than James Bond.

Dave Brubeck taught me the complex variations of style.  He inspired me to take classical and blend it with modern in a fun experimental way.  Though he taught me to not get too bogged down in the rules, he also demonstrated that one should damn-well know them and understand them.  He also subliminally taught me to pay tribute to one's father, to follow his lessons, but to also adopt his style elements, first through awkward imitation, then self-exploring articulation, and finally through ingrained subconscious comfort.

My father saw the Dave Brubeck Quartet perform when he was in college.  I had always hoped to see Brubeck play to close the loop on the father/son cycle, but it sadly never happened.

When I listen to it now, I still think of those hours, days, and years of listening to those albums with my father, counting out the time during solos that surely would stray, but never did.  Father always encouraging me to explore further.  I think about how Brubeck influenced both my style and my understanding of style, how it forms, and what it means.  Experimentation, including abrupt or uncharacteristic departures from the norm create rich sounds for the ears and styles for the eyes.  Occasionally, we miss, and sometimes we hit it just right.

Hunter / Gatherer