First, start with a nicely-fitting classic assembly of jacket, tie, pocket square, socks, etc.
Follow these next steps exactly:
1. Hem your pants way too short and have the legs taken in.
2. Hem your jacket sleeves as well. Why should the pants get all the fun of fitting poorly?
3. If you wear nice dress shoes that lace up, take off your socks. Yes, it will feel nasty, but NO SOCKS!
4. Re-tie your knot into a large and loose wad and make your pocket square as offensive as possible (extra points for a small bow tie!)
5. Stand in an awkward position that looks horribly unnatural. Pretend the camera "caught you off-guard".
Now you're ready to:
Blog, attend museum openings, infiltrate grad-school parties, bicker over a restaurant check with your friends and then leave a crappy tip. Be sure to look preposterously out of place wherever you go.
This looks cool, right?
To think... I had been doing it totally wrong all these years!
*NOTE: If you don't want to hem your wool pants, you can substitute in a pair of dark jeans, but remember to peg the cuffs and roll them tightly above the ankle. Ignore the stares of contempt, because you will be
a goofy loser awesome.